What can I say about myself that hasn’t already been said about great men like Jesus, Kermit the Frog, and Chairman Mao? A lot. I’m ten times the man/puppet than any of those guys/puppet are.

Firstly, I’m in wheelchair. That is to say, I can’t walk. That is to say, you should feel bad when you complain in front of me. Contrary to what movies, television shows, and that homeless dude near your work might indicate, being in a wheelchair isn’t that bad. Free government cheese, up close parking, and a license to swear in public? Talk about a sweet deal. On the other hand I’m stopped cold by stairs and can’t deuce it without assistance. So…yeah. Moving on.

I live in the wonderful state of North Carolina which I completely loathe. Seriously, I need to get out of here as soon as possible. My goal in life is to be a professional writer, but I’d be just as content if someone would pay me to be a couch potato/gigolo or pigolo. I enjoy the standard things (movies, books, sports) and love to talk about them ad nauseum.

I hope you enjoy you’re journey through my mind, but if you don’t then I hate you. Please don’t contact me.

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